Update: Diet Week 2 + Looking Back

Well, I am a solid 2 weeks (and 2 days) into my commitment to my health! I did a weigh-in this morning at the YMCA and (drumroll puhleeze...) I have dropped a solid 4 lbs! I know the first few go pretty easy and quickly, and I will hit a plateau eventually....... but hey, let's focus on the positive, Ok? 4 lbs! YAY!!

I thought I should share some backstory/body/diet/exercise history to put this whole game into perspective. I have never been hugely overweight, but I have always carried a little more than necessary, and in the worst place- my gut. GUT. That's what it is, I call it by it's true name! I have read a little here and there- enough to pick up on the truth that this is the worst place to carry weight, that belly fat is a really bad sign. Think about all the important organs just trying to do their thing in there!

Soooooo when I gain, that's where it goes first. Because I generally have skinny arms and legs and narrow hips, having a sizable trunk is kind of weird looking. I am embarrassed to say that I have been asked if I was pregnant 3 TIMES in my life. They each stand out clearly in my memory, and thankfully they were a long time ago, when I reached probably the most I have ever weighed, a good 20 lbs. more than I do now. For the record I have never been pregnant, not even for an instant! It is really gross to be asked that. I cannot describe how terrible it feels to be asked that! Ahem. Now, since this is where I gain first, it is also where I lose last. I have never once seen an Ab muscle, or ever experienced a completely flat stomach. I accept it somewhat as part of my body type, and try not to get all obsessive about it, however, I often wonder just how skinny I could become.

Food

I was raised on macaroni and cheese..... and Wendy's. If you doubt this, I will gladly refer you to the autobiography I wrote when I was 9, the last line of which clearly states (as if some profound thing you must know about me):

"Whenever I go to Wendy's I always get the same thing."

WTF???? Really. If I were to guess, I would say that "thing" I always ordered was a Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger "extra greasy please!"

I was also known as "The Ziti Kid" because of how frequently I was allowed to eat baked ziti from Sabarro's in the food court at the mall. Come to think of it, most of my food memories come from eating out with my family, not eating in. There were the Shirley Temples and little chicken wings I would get on my birthday at my favorite Chinese restaurant, the double scoops of ice cream at Baskin-Robbins if I got an "A" on my spelling test (which I did, every Friday!) And how can I forget the endless supply of fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, yeast rolls and soft serve at our local Quincy's?

*sigh*

So how the hell did I become the adult I am today eating raw nuts and quinoa and enjoying ethnic foods and able to drive by Wendy's without a single urge to eat that crap (well, most of the time...)? To tell you the truth, I kind of have no idea. I went on and off vegetarian for years, which did get me cooking and eating vegetables. My sister has always been a healthy eater, and we used to make fun of her and call her a "health nut" but then, hey! I realized that she was also the only one in our family who isn't overweight. I would occasionally have other health nuts in my life, and I began to respect people who worked out and ate well, and I eventually decided to become one myself I guess. Also influential would be countless books on food and diet, which I can't ever really get enough of. I will make a post dedicated to some of my favorite food and cookbooks in the future.... but really, I think I had to educate myself, and it is the work of a lifetime with the way food is studied, packaged, processed and prepared these days.

Exercise

I stepped into a gym for the first time in my life at age 30. Seriously. One beautiful and amazing summer, also known as "The Best Summer of My Life," I took 2 summer classes and got a school loan but didn't get a job. I hired a personal trainer and started walking for an hour every day by the lake (this was when I lived in Madison, WI for grad school.) I was eating great, and drinking less. I lost over 15 lbs. that summer, and I think might have been in the best shape of my life. When I went to the doctor and they weighed me in, the computer flagged me for losing so much weight (I had lost 19 lbs. from the last time I went for a checkup!)

That was the best feeling ever. And is pretty much what I am going for, however I don't have as much weight to lose now. In that Summer Of Everything Amazing And Great, I made some pretty good habits that have more or less stuck with me. I feel I have a pretty good grasp on healthy cooking and eating, it is usually portion control and stress eating that are my faults. And exercising regularly.... I still have some work to do there!

In this post, I really just wanted to sort out some of my thoughts around eating. I have by no means been comprehensive about my health history here, just some looking back at certain scenarios that have made me who I am today and what my challenges are. I feel I am constantly having to work against my "programming" which reaalllllly wants to eat fried chicken and macaroni and cheese every night.....

It's tough work, but rewarding already. This blog is an immensely helpful tool on this journey. It gives me a sense of accountability, which sometimes I lack. It gives me a place to record my diet/food choices so I can start to understand my own relationship to food. Most of all, this blog gives me a place to share with my family and friends, some who face similar challenges and some who don't.

Thanks for reading!